Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize