addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
