Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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