And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
