My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They took my balls.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
