No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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