sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
