Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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