Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
