hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
