Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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