when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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