I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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