rhymes with "ouble enetration"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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