Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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