would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
