people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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