NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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