They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
