as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
false alarm, still single
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