Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
