There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
