Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
