im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
