There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
