All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
