At least make sure they are 18
Why
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
