I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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