Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
