We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will be naked everywhere
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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