Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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