It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
