I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize