Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize