I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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