I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
