so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
40s are totally the cure
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
