Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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