i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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