And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
