dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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