yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
