If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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