Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
