real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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