I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Everything about him screamed your future.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
why is half of my head shaved?
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