and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just got carded by a ten year old.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
