I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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