Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
