don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
