So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
