How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
