God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
