No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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