I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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