If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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