yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
