i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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