AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
