The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need moral support for this bender
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
