dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
