i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
