I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
