Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
