That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
