Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
