How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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