It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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