We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
