brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
