You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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