ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
